Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
