Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
