Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
