Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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