So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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