What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
tell your sister to shave her snatch
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
