1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
