she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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