we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
