so that wasnt chicken after all
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize
