fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
