that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Please don't give away my fajitas
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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