is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
