I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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