Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
