idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
