$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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