dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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