how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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