he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
