I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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