I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
