come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
