The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
