Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
