Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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