I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
