tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
