no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
