What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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