my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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