did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
