If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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