We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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