If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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