Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
