I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
