It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
