giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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