if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
