Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
