I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
