A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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