sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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