oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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