I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
