Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
