Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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