Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
