Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
